Green Monkeys
by Katiiey
Summary: Green Monkeys and Napoleon Bonaparte,is Sawyer drunk?No,not with this author writing.Please R&R peoples,I need encouragement!


I went to Monster Jam at the Tacoma Dome last night and got no sleep,so this story is one of the dreams I had as a result of that. So if you've read my stories Hamster Chaos or BlackMail you'll probably like this.  
Disclaimer: I only own the Green Monkeys and their machine,and if any one steals them I'll send my stuffie Green Monkeys that I'm getting after them!!

Sawyer awoke to yelling outside of his tent. Walking out he saw some of the others talking,panic on their faces. He grabbed one of them by the shoulder, "What the heck is going on?" he growled,he was truely not happy to be awoken from is nap.

"Jack turned into Napoleon!" the person said,a flustered look on their face.

"What type of delusions are you seeing?" Sawyer muttered as he walked to the caves where Jacko would more than likely be.

He walked into the caves and saw a short man with his hand in his shirt,like he was stuck do the Pledge Of Allegiance hand thing. The man turned to look at him. "Sawyer." he growled, "let me guess,you came to gloat didn't you?" the man sounded a bit like the Doc.

"Gloat? The heck are you talking about? I don't even know you!" Sawyer exclaimed.

"What? It's me,Jack you dunder head."

Sawyer's eye brows raised. That really did sound like Jack,only with a French accent. He started laughing "So how did it happen?" Jack glared.

"That garden Sun planted grew some sort of weird plant. I tried some and got turned into Napoleon Bonaparte!" Jack yelled, Sawyer started laughing harder.

"Well,have fun Jackass." Jack raised a fist. "Oh,I'd better be careful,the midget might get hurt messing with me." Sawyer said in a mock tone. The sound of someone screaming tore through the caves,it sounded like Kate! Saywer bolted out of the caves. Jack just shrugged and went to look for some escargo.

Running through the jungle Sawyer noted how it got progressively darker and foggier. He heard schrill inhuman high pitched yells coming from a clearing ahead. He stopped once he got to it.

Kate was lying on the ground,hands covering her head from large moss covered looking green things swinging in the branches above,trying to snatch her from the ground.

She looked up at him "HELP!!" she screamed,staring apprehensively at the creatures above. He ran toward her and dived to the ground,pushing her out of one of the creatures grasps,only to be grabbed himself. He was pulled up through the trees,the creatures moving about with incredable agility. (imagine Tarzan)

They stopped as they neared a large tree. One of the large creatures let out a howl,then was silent. A few minuted later a second howl came from the tree and they jumped into the tree,Sawyer being held on one of the creatures shoulders. Once in the tree he was dropped to a hard floor,the other creatures backed out.

He stood up and looked about. Inside the tree was a throne room like area,and another creature stood in it. It was wearing purple robe like things and was larger than the others. "The heck is going on here? Am I drunk?" Sawyer said softly to himself.

The creature turned around. It was a large green monkey! "The heck is going on indeed." it said. Sawyer's jaw went slack. "Close your mouth,it's rude to let it hang." the monkey had a French accent.

"Who are you?" Sawyer asked. This was just too plain weird.

"I am Democrious the 5th." the monkey said proudly.

"OK, werid name. What the heck is going here?" Sawyer said,trying to keep his cool. First he's waken from his nap,then he meets Napoleon,and finally he's kidnapped by green monkeys who talk. How could it get any better?

"You _humans_."Democrious said like it was a derogative term, "crashed on _our_ island and your flying machine destroyed one of our treeside villages and killed over seventy of our people!" Democrious yelled.

"It's you who killed the pilot and has been chasing us around,isn't it?" Sawyer yelled back. Monkey's really **are** relatives to humans,the thought was flying around his head.

"Yes,because we thought it would convince you to leave. But it didn't so we tried scaring you away with our machine,but you still stayed! Why are you so ignorant?!" Democrious barked at him,a glare glued to his face.

Sawyer pointed a finger at Democrious."IGNORANT?! We humans are freakin trapped here until we get some way off the island. We can't leave and we sure as heck want to,I'm tellin you!" he yelled back. In a calmer tone he added, "What machine are you talking about?"

"You know,that thing that goes about knocking down trees and rowring." Democrious answered. "But we're not a vengeful people,so we _might_ just stop with the smashings." he acted like it everything was fine. Sawyer saw red.

"Dang you! We've been running around and afraid of a freaking MONKEY!? MONKEY'S HAVE BEEN KILLING US?!" Sawyer cursed as he threw a fist into a wall. This whole incident was way beyond weird. A low growl made him perk up.

Democrious was growling low in his throat,bearing his fangs. "Monkey?!" he sputterd. "MONKEY?! How dare you,you little #$ing #&$. You son of a $&!!!!" he continued ranting on with even more fouler words of which the author shall leave to your imagination.

Sawyer turned around and climbed out of the tree,Democrious was too caught up in his rage to notice him leaving.

A time later Sawyer walked into the caves,a crowd had gathered there. Kate ran up to him "Sawyer! What happened back there?" she asked,grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him.

"Nothin much." he headed back to his tent at the beach to take a nap.

THE END!!! Yeah,that was plain weird I know. But heck,lack of sleep is always inspiring in weird ways. Please review,I'd like more then one review on this story. BOW TO SCARLET BANDIT AND BOUNTY HUNTER!!


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